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 As I Try Avoiding Failure, {Slaine Troyard}
Schwann Oltorain
 Posted: Jun 12 2017, 09:33 PM
QUOTE
Human
Thirty-Six
3rd Guard Captain
Ordo
129 posts
Dust
Central / Offline
Schwann Oltorain





As I Try Avoiding Failure

The black of night is closing in around you. The crippling fear moves in as they strap you down. Will you let a moment get the best of you? Will this situation bring you around? When the blood stains dry. Will it bring you around? Will it pass you by? The days have turned to weeks but its not over. The bandages rewind you to where you've been. These memories will remind you. When life takes you out will it bring you around. When its said and done. Will it bring you around? What will you become? You're bruised and bleeding. I see the hurt within your eyes. I know your pain is for a reason. You need to feel just to know that you're alive.
He was fine... Wasn't he? First it started with ...feeling just a little too exhausted. Then a metallic taste in his mouth. All things considered it wasn't the worst off he had been. Maybe he was pushing himself too hard. He hadn't meant to let it get so bad. Not this bad... He'd almost been mistaken for being dead... an easy and not untrue assessment. He briefly wondered if this continued if he would be removed from the Avalon Guard. Not that it had effected his work. Maybe it was only a matter of time.

Schwann was watching the new recruits train and handle their weapons while occasionally stepping in to help them adjust or make changes. Pacing back with his hands folded behind his back he wasn't any any how stressed emotionally or physically. Nor was it hot outside; in fact the weather was rather enjoyable at the time. And yet he could remember his vision slowly blurring his breath feeling....heavier... unsure why. Light headed... he struggled to remain standing on his own feet and eventually his knees gave way. The new recruits had panicked at first but managed to get the captain to his feet.

He next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital. With a message from one of his other officers to take some time off and rest, and of course see the doctors here. As if he had any choice. At least it seemed as he hadn't been inspected yet. Which meant he could explain – or in this case craftily lie- about his condition. White lies of course. It wasn't a complete lie either....or so he told himself. Still allowing the doctor to listen to his lungs, heart, and take some blood was fine. Though it was unfortunate he still had trouble finding his legs when it came time to leave. Two days....or was it three that he had been here now...?

Rest helped....it helped a lot. It wasn't as if a doctor from this world (or even his own) would understand his condition. But he ….felt so tired... Overworking himself....the doctor said gaining a small laugh from the former knight. 'Of course.' he smirked softly.

Today was a little better. He'd gotten out of bed and might as well make use of the connected bathroom and shower. Passing a sideways glance at his uniform folded in a chair with his armor sitting on the floor under it. Most people had friends to take that stuff home for them. He shook his head at himself and was at least grateful they had brought him a change of clothes. A hot shower...was just what he needed. Despite not feeling at home, so he needed to make it fast. Quick in and out with a glance into the mirror and frown at the need to shave. “Ah well.....they can't keep me here much longer if I can walk out on my own.” he mumbled to himself and pulled a baggy dark red-shirt over his head and was straightening it out as he opened the door.

Messy hair sticking out in every direction he looked toward the door as it opened, just as he sat on the side of his bed. Great a nurse here to gripe at him for doing it alone? Please! “Look, thank you, but I can still get around on my own there isn't...” he blinked a few times. Oh, it was a young man.... which of course still didn't put the thought too far from his mind but maybe he was here for something else. “You're new...my apologies...if that seemed rude.” he sighed softly and then turned his green gaze toward the window. Maybe he had over done it, his vision blurred again, but he was sitting now... it should be fine. Should be...

Slaine Troyard, Idk take yer timee isn't great....
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Slaine Troyard
 Posted: Jun 17 2017, 06:24 PM
QUOTE
Human
Eighteen
Hospital Volunteer
Vitreus
83 posts
Silence
Eastern / Offline
Slaine Troyard


BUT IT'S ALL A DREAM,
ENDING WHEN I OPEN UP MY EYES
He was feeling good, which was saying a lot considering in recent days the weight of truth had been heavier than any crown. Every time he looked at Asseylum he feared it would come out, that awful truth he kept locked inside of him but then she would smile that innocent smile at him and he could not, for the life of him, break that innocence. He didn't want to be a monster in her eyes, heaven help him. Knowing that when he told her, her eyes would look upon him differently... He could hardly even bare the thought, let alone the reality of it. Did it make him a sinner for continuing to hide it? Or was he saving her poor heart in some way? Not that she could not take the truth, he knew she could... It was he that could not.

But he had felt himself enough to go out and attempt to find something to occupy him during the day and to give them the aer that they needed in order to pay for the apartment they were living in. At first, he had thought of the Avalon Guard, perhaps he could find a place within their ranks. He was a fighter, a soldier after all, but the morning he had set aside to going there in hopes of speaking to someone about applying for a position, he had set eyes upon the blue prison jumpsuit. His past roared up and his sins crawled beneath his skin. He'd closed the door and left the apartment with hopes of finding something a little less violent. He had seen enough of war for one life. Not that there was war in Avalon, but they had a guard for a reason and the thought of being forced into those situations again nearly made him sick. He just wanted to live his life.

That was how he found out about the position at the hospital. They were a bit short staffed and they didn't need him to do anything surgical, which he wasn't qualified for, just simply act as someone who would go around and make sure everything was alright, see if the patients needed anything. They weren't paying him much, granted, but it was enough to get by. Besides, it was something good. Perhaps it would help heal his soul, at least to a point. Only confessions could truly save him, he supposed.

With the morning sun still streaming across the floor, Slaine made his way through the halls, keeping his head down and staying out of everyone's ways. No one gave him a glance, save one of the women who offhandedly asked him to go to one of the rooms on the second floor and the white haired teen had done as he was told, quickly moving into the elevator and riding it up. He walked out into the slightly more vacant floor and recalled the number, reaching it and slowly opening it. Though nearly as soon as he did, the man's voice spoke up: “Look, thank you, but I can still get around on my own there isn't...”

Slaine was about to apologize and move out when the man apologized first for sounding rude. "No, I am sorry, sir," he said, offering a very faint lift of his lips. "I was sent to see if you needed anything?"

561 words for Schwann || are you sure you're okay, swandad

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Schwann Oltorain
 Posted: Jun 19 2017, 02:28 AM
QUOTE
Human
Thirty-Six
3rd Guard Captain
Ordo
129 posts
Dust
Central / Offline
Schwann Oltorain


As I Try Avoiding Failure

The black of night is closing in around you. The crippling fear moves in as they strap you down. Will you let a moment get the best of you? Will this situation bring you around? When the blood stains dry. Will it bring you around? Will it pass you by? The days have turned to weeks but its not over. The bandages rewind you to where you've been. These memories will remind you. When life takes you out will it bring you around. When its said and done. Will it bring you around? What will you become? You're bruised and bleeding. I see the hurt within your eyes. I know your pain is for a reason. You need to feel just to know that you're alive.
A stranger... He watched the boy in silence for a few seconds before he blinked himself back to life. Focus. Though his hair was an unusual color, he could think of only one other person with white hair. Alexei... He forced a weak smile the eyes that greeted him weren't red of course; and yet they hid the same familiarity. He knew that look well....and for a second he allowed his mind to water before reeling it back and shaking his head slowly. Perhaps it was just the medication.

“No need to apologize.” he plied with a dip of his head as he turned a little more on his bed folding one leg and letting the other rest off the side still. He could sit there and mope, and it was all the more tempting to send the young man away. Did he need anything? He pressed his lips closer together and pulled his eyes away. “No... I do not think so...” he replied politely. Though a tingling feeling mate him chew his lip moments later. How could he possibly be 'overdoing it' now?

He closed his eyes tightly and chewed the inside of his lip. Taking a few seconds to breathe slowly he then waved for Slaine's attention. “Water...” he choked out a somewhat shortly though not intentionally rude. Hopefully the boy hadn't already gone.

Feeling his vision swim again he rubbed his hand down his face and laughed weakly. So maybe they were right... he breathes out slowly and rests his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. When he hears the door and footsteps and feels the presents of someone standing over him. Thankful he offers a small nod and accepts the cup tipping it back he drinks a part of it down before lowering it and echoing a heavy sigh. Brow pinching and rising in the middle the knight looked back up and then offered another small nod. “Thank you.”

“Though if you really want to do something for me....you could bail me out of this prison.” he raised a hand and offered a small smile. Hardly, when you've been in actual prison, but close enough. Maybe worse...? He gave his head a small shake. “I've never seen you before....are you new?” he inquired trying to sound polite. “Schwann Oltorain, in for....apparently not sleeping resting enough.” Close enough..

He offers a weak smile and folds his arms comfortably over his chest. “You're likely just as bored out of you mind.....” he smirked softly and raised his brows as he watched the younger man.

Slaine Troyard, Everything is fineeeee....
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Slaine Troyard
 Posted: Jun 20 2017, 02:06 AM
QUOTE
Human
Eighteen
Hospital Volunteer
Vitreus
83 posts
Silence
Eastern / Offline
Slaine Troyard


BUT IT'S ALL A DREAM,
ENDING WHEN I OPEN UP MY EYES
Feeling a bit awkward, Slaine had been about to take his leave and was in the middle of a respectful bow when he heard the other's choked out request for water and his eyes went wide. "Oh- yes, sir." He turned and hurried from the room, rushing down the hall to where he could get the water and filling up a cup, having to walk a bit slower on the way back thanks to his not wanting to spill it all over himself and the floor. Even at a slower pace, he had to skid to a halt and threw his hand up over the rim so it wouldn't spill, hurrying to the other's side, holding out the cup. "Here, sir," he said, a bit out of breath.

He watched the man drink the water, his brows somewhat drawn. "Are you sure you are alright, sir?" he asked, cautiously, not wanting to press into something that wasn't his business. At the 'thank you', the teen dipped his head, offering the ghost of a smile. "Of course, sir." Though at the words about prison, he couldn't help the flicker that passed his face, the knowledge of an actual prison but he gave out a soft, weak, chuckle. "I am afraid I cannot do that..." He did sound sorry though. "Maybe... I can speak to someone who can?"

"Oh, yes. I am. I got the job only the other day..." He dipped his head and offered a weak smile. "Slaine Troyard, sir." In for not resting enough, the other man claimed and Slaine's brows fell into a concerned 'v' once more, but he said nothing more. If Schwann did not wish to share, that was fine. It was not Slaine's business. At the last comment, he shook his head. "No, of course not, sir!" He wasn't bored, that was the truth, he was quite worried but he was trying to dial it back considering the man was still a stranger and he really didn't want to irritate him. He was sure it was already irritating enough being in this so called "prison".

Though Slaine could remember prison. He could remember the cold sunlight leaching through the bars, the blue jumpsuit that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, it simply was. A symbol of his new reality, perhaps. He remembered the marches down the hall, guards surrounding him with their stoic faces, some that began to slow give way to uneasy smiles and comments in the days that followed his arrival. Those first few days... He had wished for death, wished for Inaho Kaizuka to come marching through the door and blow his brains out. But it never happened. He had only the guards soft comments, their good mornings and their good nights. Sometimes the glance when he woke himself up by screaming.

It had not been living.

474 words for schwann || look idk i'm tired

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Schwann Oltorain
 Posted: Jun 21 2017, 02:35 AM
QUOTE
Human
Thirty-Six
3rd Guard Captain
Ordo
129 posts
Dust
Central / Offline
Schwann Oltorain


As I Try Avoiding Failure

The black of night is closing in around you. The crippling fear moves in as they strap you down. Will you let a moment get the best of you? Will this situation bring you around? When the blood stains dry. Will it bring you around? Will it pass you by? The days have turned to weeks but its not over. The bandages rewind you to where you've been. These memories will remind you. When life takes you out will it bring you around. When its said and done. Will it bring you around? What will you become? You're bruised and bleeding. I see the hurt within your eyes. I know your pain is for a reason. You need to feel just to know that you're alive.
Thankful for the water, but sorry he needed to rely on anyone, perhaps he shouldn't be. He'd rasped the order unintentionally harsh or sudden, at least that is how it felt to him. Schwann was not intentionally giving the doctors and nurses a hard time, simply that... there was no help, nothing they could do. He would be more comfortable killing over at home in his own bed than here; if such a thing were to really happen so suddenly. He didn't really feel like dying yet.... even if he wasn't entirely sure why.

“Thank you...again. ” he breathed out slowly, once again, with his brows bending inward. It had helped to sooth his throat and calm his racing heart so to speak. Maybe a little too much water with his shower.. he inwardly smirked before looking to the boy again trying to remind himself to muster a smile so he didn't appear so cold. It was something he was trying to teach himself to do... odd how hard that was sometimes.

“Its alright now, really.” they'd never let him leave if he said otherwise now would they... he rubbed a hand through his hair. “For the most part, you so much as hiccup and they keep you an extra few days.” he commented somewhat sourly. Of course it wasn't aimed toward the boy, Schwann even glimpsed toward the door. If they heard him cough he'd never hear the end of it. “Its alright, it shouldn't be much longer.” his eyes fell to the folded uniform and armor, sword in its scabbard lying against the baseboard.

Not resting enough. He allowed himself a small smirk when the boy made a face. Concern or disbelief, he wasn't entirely sure that time. “Slaine....Troyard...sounds like a knight's name. Sounds noble..” he remarked softly shaking his head hoping the comment hadn't made him uncomfortable but it was simply the first thing to come to mind. Like the name of a real knight..

When he said he wasn't bored a small smirk-like-smile returned to his face as his brow rose. “Well that is good, helping those who can't help themselves is admirable...” he moved to fold his legs and rest his hands on his knees. “And then you get a bunch of old people who never know when to be quiet and want to abuse your visit to cure their boredom.” he teased, sighed softly closing his eyes and tipping his head downward.

Boredom or loneliness...he wasn't entirely sure.

Oops lol
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